Now THIS stuff, I’m going to buy! Okay, not all of it, because that would pretty much bankrupt me at the moment. But the poster, the sticker, the magnet, the mug and the notebook? I neeeed them!
Click here for my Booty Box section!
I can’t fathom why anyone else would want these, but I definitely do. ;D If you buy them, send me photos of you posing in/with them, please!
I was curious as to how my fellow authors would define the term ‘erotic’ – so I asked at Total-E-Bound and Wicked Nights. These are the responses I got – if the answers appeal to you, follow the links to buy some of their works!
And I get to go first. Naturally. 
Anticipation. Struggle. Pain, pleasure and the line in between. The forbidden, the familiar, withholding and granting… Imagination and discovery. Glances and voices and shivers and secrets. The little moments that lead to the breathtaking climax, long overdue and desperately longed for.
~ Amy Valenti, author of Shocked
I interviewed Nicki J. Markus for my blog earlier on this month, and she has now returned the favour.
You can find my interview here!
I used to think I was a pretty patient person… but then I started submitting stories to publishers. This is pretty much how it goes:
Amy: *submits manuscript to publisher*
Automated E-Mail: Thank you for submitting Manuscript A to Publisher B! We endeavour to get back to you in a timely fashion. If you have not heard from us in twelve weeks…
Amy: Twelve weeks?! But I’ve been waiting twelve seconds already, and you STILL haven’t got back to me! GOD!
Amy: *goes away and eats something, possibly sleeps, torments the cat with a piece of string… looks toward laptop*
Amy: Will not check email. There’s nothing to see. Nothing to see… Nothing– Oh, fuck it. *checks email and finds only some Russian spam and a couple of LiveJournal comments*
Amy: ARGH! It’s been TWELVE HOURS! I’m dying! *complains about it on LiveJournal incessantly*
Collective LiveJournal Friends List: (Paraphrased) Shut up and think about something else for twelve weeks!
Amy: *plays videogames for about three weeks solid*
Amy: How about now? *checks email*
Email: Thank you for submitting your partial Manuscript A to Publisher B! We kinda liked it. Could you send us the rest?
Amy: WHOO HOO! Okay! *sends rest of manuscript*
Amy: *checks email roughly every fifteen minutes for the next eight hours*
Amy: Damn it! I sent it to you, now read it and tell me you want it! Fuck you, time zones and people actually leaving their computers to do things – this is ridiculous!
Amy: *checks email every waking hour for the next three days*
Aaaand this is where I am at the moment.
Disclaimer: Yes, I understand that people have lots of work to do and possibly hundreds of manuscripts to sift through before they get to mine. I’m exaggerating a little bit, and I thought I’d write this for fun (and also because I’m procrastinating right now). Absolutely no offence meant to any publishers, because I’m just mocking myself.
I have to say it: I hate all the usual paranormal clichés.
Don’t get me wrong. I also hate certain non-cliché supernatural elements. Vampires should never sparkle.
Anyway, let me get to the point. I decided I was going to try to write one of those stories, using as many clichés as I could without forcing it, and then turn it on its head a little.
The trouble is, you can’t really sell a story like that. The people looking for a serious paranormal tale get jolted out of it when it becomes obvious that I’m just mocking the conventions, and the people looking for comedy have trouble getting past the horrible clichés at the start.
So instead, I sef-published it to Smashwords – just to see if anyone would actually buy and like it. This is the only story I’ll ever self-publish, because I doubt it’d ever find a home anywhere else.
You can find it here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/45560
